Monday, January 24, 2011

To all the adults who think they are GROWN UP.....but unfortunately they aren't

Travelling everyday in local trains does teach you a lot.

The other day I was returning to office from a press conference in Churchgate. On my way back in the second class compartment which was comparatively less crowded than always, I suddenly heard a lady shouting at a small girl; abusing her, and pulling her by her hand inside the compartment. They were accompanied by another girl who seemed to be the little kid's elder sister. Well, none of them seemed to be from a non-educated background.

This loud chaos certainly attracted everyone's attention.

The lady after forcibly making the girl sit, alighted at the next stop. However, her abuses had not stopped yet. She came near the window and yelled ,"You better not get up from your seat. Or else I will hit you idiot." She also warned the co-passengers as well her sister to keep a watch at the kid until she gets down at her desired stop in Andheri.

By that time the kid was already into tears due to the physical and verbal humiliation especially in public. With head bent low, she sat still, staring at the floor with tears flowing down her cheeks.

Later as the train approached their station, the kid got up in excitement and started walking towards the door. The moment her elder sister saw her get up, she too pulled her forcibly, abusing in a similar way the lady did.

These were the two incidences I witnessed, out of the many which the kid must be facing daily due to her folks.

Adults generally have such kind of approach towards kids. They feel shouting and abusing would stop the kid from doing things at that very moment itself. But, behaving that way, they do not understand that it does threaten the kid temporarily but the permanent mark it leaves on the kids psyche and conduct is far more threatening.

Kids, I have noticed, are excited while travelling in train, astonishingly looking at the fast pacing world outside.

A common perception is that kids are immature, they do not have self respect and its totally fine treating them harshly in public, as people would understand that they are still kids with not as much maturity and intelligence.

Well what we dont understand is these sensitive minds of children do grasp a lot and are open to all kinds of behavior, experiences and situations. Anxious to try new things, get experiences out of those (good or bad), exploring the world they had never seen before, learning and more learning is what a kids brain starves for.

Shutting or stopping him/her from doing so not only brings down this anxiety to learn new things, gain new experiences, but also brings a major change (a negative one) in their conduct.

Moreover, imagine what terrible knock it would cause to their self respect. Why do adults always assume, self respect is what comes with age/education/occupation? Self respect is something that accompanies A Self since birth. From a one day old infant to a 80 year old individual, everyone expects and wants to be treated with respect. And a slap to one's respect during childhood, hampers further growth of the individual causing frequent insults to his/her respect. (this might not be the case always, but a large number of kids generally tend to get inclined towards the negative side after such experiences).

Kids should be treated as kids. Lowering down to their maturity and intelligence and explaining good and bad consequences of their behavior not only does mature a child but also retains his/her respect.

This quote from Stacia Tauscher is effective enough to explain my thought in one line

"We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today."

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Back to Blogging

Well.....long long time since I have blogged....totally caught up with work for the past one year.But will be posting my article soon....surely looking forward to permanent and regular updates of my thoughts on various issues.....

Thanks to my friends pestering me to start writing....your motivation and encouragement will be appreciated and valued.....

Saturday, May 31, 2008

realisation deems through ones experiences.....

A couple of months ago, I read a front page news story about a 20 year old boy who lost his life in a road accident. The man who was hit by him while crossing the road also underwent the same fate. This accident took place on the highway near to my locality. The point where the accident took place was famous amongst the localities for being an accident prone area. In order to avoid such severe accidents the political authorities had built a foot bridge on the highway.
So how did the accident take place?
The boy driving the bike didn’t see the man who was crossing the highway and as expected to be the speed of the bikes on a highway, he too was driving at approximately 80-90km/hour. The biker tried saving the man but he couldn’t control the speed of the bike and hit him,… further losing his control on the bike and dashing over a light pole. The biker broke his leg and his face was smashed by the impact with which he hit the pole. Traffic police were present at a distance of a km from the spot and there was a traffic police station at the same distance. The two victims were alive but in need of an emergency aid.
Now here comes the tragedy….
A cop reached the spot on his bike but he didn’t have a vehicle to carry both the wounded to the hospital.. Strange isn’t it…when you know there are two people severely injured and you need to rush them to the hospital, the cop must have got his jeep with him. Instead the cop tried stopping vehicles on the highway for help. But unfortunately the driver’s were interested in knowing only the reason and the details of the accident, than, in carrying the casualties to the hospital. As soon as they were content with the story they would drive away caring a damn about the two men struggling for life. People didn’t even care to respect the cop as an “Authority” who was doing his duty and as a matter of concern cooperate or at least respond to the terror of a cop ordering them to take the victims to the hospitals. Fearing to be involved by the police in the accident case, the drivers did not help the victims. The cop struggled for almost an hour, by which time the biker succumbed to his injuries. The other victim was still struggling for his life. Finally, a rickshaw driver agreed to carry the victim to the hospital. However, he too died due to excessive blood loss which was due to the delay in admitting him to the hospital.
Now who is supposed to be blamed here?
The cop, the biker, the man who found an easy way to cross the road instead of the foot bridge, the drivers who cared a damn about the victims or the law?
Well…I would say each is, to some extent involved in this incident. However, instead of the blame game. Let this incident be taken as an example to be learnt.
For the cops: to make things available as per the situation and not involve innocent people in the cases .
For us: to abide by the laws. i.e., to use the foot bridge rather than crossing highways and the passer-by’s to please help victims when in need. Forget laws and do remember HUMANITY...
For the authorities: to please propagate the correct laws amongst the citizens. (as the law says: people who admit accident victims in the hospital cannot be involved in the case.)
For the biker: Teenagers, if you don’t have control over your driving please do not drive fast. I understand…some people do like speed and adventure but not at the cost of other’s life. Who knows the man who lost his life might be the sole bread winner of his family.

P.S: the biker was a friend of mine and we all still feel bad, not being there to help him when he was in utmost need. Have to say…u understand the impact of such situations only when someone close to you is involved.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Unfortunate experiences.....bitter memories.....!!!!!

I was waiting at the station for my train to Mumbai. Since it was afternoon, the station was comparatively less crowded. I sat on an empty bench on the platform where my compartment was expected to halt. A group of guys-aged 13-18, expected to be hailing from not so well to do families were loitering around on the station. They stopped a few feet ahead of me.

As expected, the guys started off a discussion, each arguing on their bravery to molest/eve tease girls. The guys were discussing on how many gals they succeeded to molest/tease and to what extent had they tried to get physical with them. Every guy interrupted the other guy by saying…. “That’s it…that’s what you tried to do….come on…listen to my stunt and you would be flabbergasted”.
I heard many of their conversations which cannot be mentioned in details here, but believe me those incidents were really horrifying and I deeply pity the gals involved in it.

I still dared to sit on the bench, trying to avoid their gazes and hoping I would not be a part of their so called bravery. But, I was so wrong and how could I underestimate all of them. The guys slowly, (I guess it was a planned move), came near my bench and finally two of them sat besides me. This time I finally decided to get up and move. As soon as I got up one of those guys passed a lewd comment and snapped the other guy saying…. “See coz of you madam had to leave”….
Fortunately, I didn’t face much of embarrassment after that. I couldn’t act much or react rebelliously as they were 6 of them and I was comparatively on the weaker side to revolt back or give a bashing. A single person cant teach a group of men a lesson….come on I should have been a hindi film heroine to do so!!!!! And i did come across guys from the lower strata of the society but well educated,sophisticated men too commit such heinous crime..class and caste doesnt play much of a part here but the psychology of men does....

But on a serious note…. As the great thinker Weber’s Verstehen approach states….analyse things from the opposite person’s point of view….I suggest all the readers (especially GUYS) to think of the above experience from the gals point of view.
We hear many cases of girls being molested at railway stations, on the roads, bus stops etc….be it a private or a public place, every girl must have experienced this, to some extent. Imagine yourself being touched awkwardly in front of several people without your own will and without the freedom or the strength to retort back as per your wishes. I mentioned freedom and strength here because I don’t mean to say girls are weak( infact I will never say that) but certain circumstances are such that the girl has to stay calm and get herself harassed. Many might say…..come on that isn’t the case….but being a girl I have come across many girls who have shared such an experience be they thin or fat/ young or old enough to rebel.

Moreover, how badly shattered the girl feels when she goes through such an incident. The person molesting a girl does it for his satisfaction be it physical or mental and forgets the next moment, but the victim has to carry it on the whole life (and I really MEAN this statement.). Even a small incident keeps haunting the whole life giving a troubled feeling. The uneasy sensation of being touched by a stranger, as if being a public property with people around you just watching the incident and either laughing at the plight of the gal or showing fake empathy towards her.
The other day I heard a programme on the radio regarding the eve teasing issue, wherein men were asked to call and give their view points on the same (amazing concept here-guys being asked to participate on such a topic). One of the callers who was a frequent traveller on the Mumbai locals shared his story of being molested by a gay in the train. His statement was “ after that bad experience I really started respecting girls that even after being molested they tend to forget the bygones. This incident took place months ago but I still feel uneasy when I recall the experience. The situation was such that I couldn’t do much against the molestor….."

Guys, many such incidents might come to your mind after reading this article, either the ones you experienced or witnessed. Please give it a thought and try and act constructively whenever you come across such an incident….

Saturday, March 08, 2008


Now that’s what every Tom,Dick and Harry and every Seeta,Geeta and Meeta whom I happened to meet on the 8th of March wished me.
And the next question to follow was how you celebrated your special day? Well, I was a bit confused or say blank about the answer. What should I answer? Should I give them those page 3 kinda answers….means...I went shopping, gossiping, partying whole day with my female pals or should I say the truth….that it was a very normal day spent doing routine day stuff. I preferred the later statement and to my obvious expectation the reaction was….Don’t tell me. You didn’t do anything special today? Come on lady….it is your day today. Get going!!!!
Well, so much of coaxing didn’t change my mind nor was I tempted to spend the remaining hours doing what I should ideally be doing according to my so called well wishers.

However, it did raise a thought in my mind about the people’s perspective about these numerous days which they keep celebrating enthusiastically.
One such day is the great controversial Valentine’s Day. Every year couples wait eagerly for this blessed day when they can express their seamless love to each other. Flowers, greetings, heart shaped balloons are visible everywhere you go. How can I forget “Red”- the colour of the day!!! (I bet the other colours would be getting jealous of Red for stealing the show. pun intended….) every other galli,nukka(here comes my hindi again….)was filled with couples with varying degrees of PDA(public display of affection) and with guys portraying every single sign of being a Romeo trying to impress some or the other Juliet. The loners are left sighing deeply for being left alone in this mean, cruel world. Infact, looking at those cozy couples must have definitely added to their depression and the want to have a partner to depend on (or should I say to show to the world that I too have a gf/bf and I too am of the Yo!!! Types..) Well, I don’t understand why do you need to anxiously, curiously wait for a single day to express your feelings when nature has provided 365 days to do so? Come on….spending thousands of bucks( surprisingly a single red rose which costs Rs.2-5/- on a normal day is sold for Rs.25-50/- on the Special occasion of LOVE) on a single day just to follow the trend is a mere waste of money, energy and your fast moving precious time. However, here the gift shop owners, flower vendors will completely resist and oppose my statement. And why won’t they? Am I not pessimistically interfering in their business? Don’t forget it’s not just the couple’s day out but their day too, when they can earn almost double or triple the amount they make the whole week.
Come on people, be rationalistic and think of expending money on something worth spending on, which will give satisfaction to both the payer as well as the receiver.

Now comes the Women’s day.. Whole day I saw a news channel broadcasting the silver screen’s saas and bahu’s showing of their revealing dresses, partying and dancing and expressing fake views on women empowerment and things they were hardly aware and concerned of. They were in such a wild mood as if it was the only day they could get to get wild. Rich women, be it from the business class or the celebrity class were felicitated for their achievements. None gave it a thought to think about the thousands of women suffering form domestic abuses, dowry abuses, eve teasing etc everyday. Why cant this day be treated a special day to make people aware of these abuses and their growing proportion. Women who have fought against such cruelty and such criminal domination in their real life without any helping hand and favorable circumstances should be awarded with. This will help creating a respectful position of women on their male counterpart leading to at least a decrease in the abuses…
Well, it ofcourse is a subjective topic but it’s an idea worth giving a thought on. So go ahead, think about it and act on it whenever possible..

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

speeding up for nowhere......!!!!!

We humans have a major issue of rushing where ever we go. We want to be the first. And inorder to get into that numero uno position we break rules,laws,fight and do what ever illegal/illegitimate/crazy/witty..(wateva u say:)......possible.

I was travelling from Mumbai to Pune today..and at every toll naka inspite of the single long queue of cars, I could see a bunch of cars(almost three in parallel in a lane), at the end of the naka where you pay the toll, all trying their level best to get into the line first. In this fight, which was also a ego clash between the drivers (all thinking lets see how the other gets ahead of me) honking, giving each other silly hull bajis[bambaiyya hindi ;)] became a part.. Ofcourse, the huge engines did succeed in dominating the small ones, but then the major question which came into my mind is....WHERE AND WHY ARE ALL THIS GUYS RUSHING TO? They were in such a hurry that it appeared as if; if they don't get to pass the toll naka first, the earth below would open up wide and gulp all the remaining cars[well a crazy thought sitting in the car waiting for my turn to pay the holy toll :P]

My family decided to visit a Ganesha temple on our way to Pune. As compared to the otherwise long queues on Tuesday's, we were surprised to see the short line heading towards the temple. I stood in the line and was proceeding towards the Pravesh Dwar(the door). As soon as I reached a few feet before the Dwar I saw people ahead of me charging (I should say shoving each other desperately ) all of a sudden. I looked back at my mom with confusion, asking what happend all of a sudden.[Thought may be a terrorist attack out of nowhere/ or some thief stealing something or the other from the temple ;)] But, when I looked back at them did I realise this was the hurry and strife for the darshan..:D

Well these were two instances I witnessed during the trip.
We people are always in a it performing our regular everyday tasks, or going out for a vacation....reaching a place as early as possible(even if one is on a vacation), impatient to receive the order placed in a restaurant etc....we are always striving to be the first in doing anything..
Technology and easy/ fast service has made us lose our patience, mental stability..Urbanities are so very busy in their so called fast life that it becomes difficult to wait in a queue for our turn to come or sit back/relax and patiently wait for a service to be provided. It becomes hard to digest any obstruction or delay in achieving our it the minutest daily chores like any connection error in our mobile service to the pizza not getting delivered in half an hour;)(vague but valid examples :D)
The most popular and most influential word of the 21st century is FAST......

Sunday, January 20, 2008 I am finishing off a task my friend asked me to complete long long back......I was the first person to be tagged in his friends list...n guess and hope too, that I ain't the last to finish it off....;)

well....its a difficult task to write something about urself....when you write something about urself.....the general reaction of people who read it is.....either this chic is over-confident or under-confident of herself......isko dekh ke aisa lagta nahin that she is in reality what she has written....guess time for her to know her true self.....;)(pun intended)

well.......too much of this funda now.......time to get back to action.....

1) start off ..I am a complete foodie.I just love all kinda cuisines.....give me any dish and you will see a look of heavenly satisfaction on my face..I just lovee watching cookery shows on Tv..just admire the way the chef's cook(not look ;)), imagine the smell and the taste of the food..:)and somewhere deep in the heart, wish, if by any chance the food comes out of the TV set and I get to gobble it down....:D
Food makes me so crazy that sometimes I wish I get married to a chef..;).....

2)I don't show it much often....but I am very much possessive about my pals and loveeee them v spending time with them....any time of the day/night I would happily go and hangout with them at our favourite addas......

3)As my blogs indicate, i am a complete animal lover and have a soft/weak(wateva u say) corner for old people. Just dislike the people who misbehave with them..Plan to open up old age homes in future...n homes for the four-legged too....:D Thats my biggest dream........

4)I am a lazy person....infact to be precise....sleep for rest of the time and as the D-day arrives hurry up getting and making everyone around me tensed....I am of those wake up-at the last moment types.....Lack self motivation and hence need someone to motivate me on a regular basis....

I often end up motivating others by my hard core-reality talks .... heard from many close mates that I am a good counsellor....:D

5) Am a complete dance and music lover.....neva got to learn these professionally but yeah aspire to make my kids dancer and singer......;)

6) I love stuffs like tarot reading, could say those witchy things.....;)

7) For the conclusive part, Me a perfect Aquarian in all terms....:D

Time to tag my goes the list.....