realisation deems through ones experiences.....

A couple of months ago, I read a front page news story about a 20 year old boy who lost his life in a road accident. The man who was hit by him while crossing the road also underwent the same fate. This accident took place on the highway near to my locality. The point where the accident took place was famous amongst the localities for being an accident prone area. In order to avoid such severe accidents the political authorities had built a foot bridge on the highway.
So how did the accident take place?
The boy driving the bike didn’t see the man who was crossing the highway and as expected to be the speed of the bikes on a highway, he too was driving at approximately 80-90km/hour. The biker tried saving the man but he couldn’t control the speed of the bike and hit him,… further losing his control on the bike and dashing over a light pole. The biker broke his leg and his face was smashed by the impact with which he hit the pole. Traffic police were present at a distance of a km from the spot and there was a traffic police station at the same distance. The two victims were alive but in need of an emergency aid.
Now here comes the tragedy….
A cop reached the spot on his bike but he didn’t have a vehicle to carry both the wounded to the hospital.. Strange isn’t it…when you know there are two people severely injured and you need to rush them to the hospital, the cop must have got his jeep with him. Instead the cop tried stopping vehicles on the highway for help. But unfortunately the driver’s were interested in knowing only the reason and the details of the accident, than, in carrying the casualties to the hospital. As soon as they were content with the story they would drive away caring a damn about the two men struggling for life. People didn’t even care to respect the cop as an “Authority” who was doing his duty and as a matter of concern cooperate or at least respond to the terror of a cop ordering them to take the victims to the hospitals. Fearing to be involved by the police in the accident case, the drivers did not help the victims. The cop struggled for almost an hour, by which time the biker succumbed to his injuries. The other victim was still struggling for his life. Finally, a rickshaw driver agreed to carry the victim to the hospital. However, he too died due to excessive blood loss which was due to the delay in admitting him to the hospital.
Now who is supposed to be blamed here?
The cop, the biker, the man who found an easy way to cross the road instead of the foot bridge, the drivers who cared a damn about the victims or the law?
Well…I would say each is, to some extent involved in this incident. However, instead of the blame game. Let this incident be taken as an example to be learnt.
For the cops: to make things available as per the situation and not involve innocent people in the cases .
For us: to abide by the laws. i.e., to use the foot bridge rather than crossing highways and the passer-by’s to please help victims when in need. Forget laws and do remember HUMANITY...
For the authorities: to please propagate the correct laws amongst the citizens. (as the law says: people who admit accident victims in the hospital cannot be involved in the case.)
For the biker: Teenagers, if you don’t have control over your driving please do not drive fast. I understand…some people do like speed and adventure but not at the cost of other’s life. Who knows the man who lost his life might be the sole bread winner of his family.

P.S: the biker was a friend of mine and we all still feel bad, not being there to help him when he was in utmost need. Have to say…u understand the impact of such situations only when someone close to you is involved.

Unfortunate experiences.....bitter memories.....!!!!!

I was waiting at the station for my train to Mumbai. Since it was afternoon, the station was comparatively less crowded. I sat on an empty bench on the platform where my compartment was expected to halt. A group of guys-aged 13-18, expected to be hailing from not so well to do families were loitering around on the station. They stopped a few feet ahead of me.

As expected, the guys started off a discussion, each arguing on their bravery to molest/eve tease girls. The guys were discussing on how many gals they succeeded to molest/tease and to what extent had they tried to get physical with them. Every guy interrupted the other guy by saying…. “That’s it…that’s what you tried to do….come on…listen to my stunt and you would be flabbergasted”.
I heard many of their conversations which cannot be mentioned in details here, but believe me those incidents were really horrifying and I deeply pity the gals involved in it.

I still dared to sit on the bench, trying to avoid their gazes and hoping I would not be a part of their so called bravery. But, I was so wrong and how could I underestimate all of them. The guys slowly, (I guess it was a planned move), came near my bench and finally two of them sat besides me. This time I finally decided to get up and move. As soon as I got up one of those guys passed a lewd comment and snapped the other guy saying…. “See coz of you madam had to leave”….
Fortunately, I didn’t face much of embarrassment after that. I couldn’t act much or react rebelliously as they were 6 of them and I was comparatively on the weaker side to revolt back or give a bashing. A single person cant teach a group of men a lesson….come on I should have been a hindi film heroine to do so!!!!! And yeah.....here i did come across guys from the lower strata of the society but well educated,sophisticated men too commit such heinous crime..class and caste doesnt play much of a part here but the psychology of men does....

But on a serious note…. As the great thinker Weber’s Verstehen approach states….analyse things from the opposite person’s point of view….I suggest all the readers (especially GUYS) to think of the above experience from the gals point of view.
We hear many cases of girls being molested at railway stations, on the roads, bus stops etc….be it a private or a public place, every girl must have experienced this, to some extent. Imagine yourself being touched awkwardly in front of several people without your own will and without the freedom or the strength to retort back as per your wishes. I mentioned freedom and strength here because I don’t mean to say girls are weak( infact I will never say that) but certain circumstances are such that the girl has to stay calm and get herself harassed. Many might say…..come on that isn’t the case….but being a girl I have come across many girls who have shared such an experience be they thin or fat/ young or old enough to rebel.

Moreover, how badly shattered the girl feels when she goes through such an incident. The person molesting a girl does it for his satisfaction be it physical or mental and forgets the next moment, but the victim has to carry it on the whole life (and I really MEAN this statement.). Even a small incident keeps haunting the whole life giving a troubled feeling. The uneasy sensation of being touched by a stranger, as if being a public property with people around you just watching the incident and either laughing at the plight of the gal or showing fake empathy towards her.
The other day I heard a programme on the radio regarding the eve teasing issue, wherein men were asked to call and give their view points on the same (amazing concept here-guys being asked to participate on such a topic). One of the callers who was a frequent traveller on the Mumbai locals shared his story of being molested by a gay in the train. His statement was “ after that bad experience I really started respecting girls that even after being molested they tend to forget the bygones. This incident took place months ago but I still feel uneasy when I recall the experience. The situation was such that I couldn’t do much against the molestor….."

Guys, many such incidents might come to your mind after reading this article, either the ones you experienced or witnessed. Please give it a thought and try and act constructively whenever you come across such an incident….