Unfortunate experiences.....bitter memories.....!!!!!

I was waiting at the station for my train to Mumbai. Since it was afternoon, the station was comparatively less crowded. I sat on an empty bench on the platform where my compartment was expected to halt. A group of guys-aged 13-18, expected to be hailing from not so well to do families were loitering around on the station. They stopped a few feet ahead of me.

As expected, the guys started off a discussion, each arguing on their bravery to molest/eve tease girls. The guys were discussing on how many gals they succeeded to molest/tease and to what extent had they tried to get physical with them. Every guy interrupted the other guy by saying…. “That’s it…that’s what you tried to do….come on…listen to my stunt and you would be flabbergasted”.
I heard many of their conversations which cannot be mentioned in details here, but believe me those incidents were really horrifying and I deeply pity the gals involved in it.

I still dared to sit on the bench, trying to avoid their gazes and hoping I would not be a part of their so called bravery. But, I was so wrong and how could I underestimate all of them. The guys slowly, (I guess it was a planned move), came near my bench and finally two of them sat besides me. This time I finally decided to get up and move. As soon as I got up one of those guys passed a lewd comment and snapped the other guy saying…. “See coz of you madam had to leave”….
Fortunately, I didn’t face much of embarrassment after that. I couldn’t act much or react rebelliously as they were 6 of them and I was comparatively on the weaker side to revolt back or give a bashing. A single person cant teach a group of men a lesson….come on I should have been a hindi film heroine to do so!!!!! And yeah.....here i did come across guys from the lower strata of the society but well educated,sophisticated men too commit such heinous crime..class and caste doesnt play much of a part here but the psychology of men does....

But on a serious note…. As the great thinker Weber’s Verstehen approach states….analyse things from the opposite person’s point of view….I suggest all the readers (especially GUYS) to think of the above experience from the gals point of view.
We hear many cases of girls being molested at railway stations, on the roads, bus stops etc….be it a private or a public place, every girl must have experienced this, to some extent. Imagine yourself being touched awkwardly in front of several people without your own will and without the freedom or the strength to retort back as per your wishes. I mentioned freedom and strength here because I don’t mean to say girls are weak( infact I will never say that) but certain circumstances are such that the girl has to stay calm and get herself harassed. Many might say…..come on that isn’t the case….but being a girl I have come across many girls who have shared such an experience be they thin or fat/ young or old enough to rebel.

Moreover, how badly shattered the girl feels when she goes through such an incident. The person molesting a girl does it for his satisfaction be it physical or mental and forgets the next moment, but the victim has to carry it on the whole life (and I really MEAN this statement.). Even a small incident keeps haunting the whole life giving a troubled feeling. The uneasy sensation of being touched by a stranger, as if being a public property with people around you just watching the incident and either laughing at the plight of the gal or showing fake empathy towards her.
The other day I heard a programme on the radio regarding the eve teasing issue, wherein men were asked to call and give their view points on the same (amazing concept here-guys being asked to participate on such a topic). One of the callers who was a frequent traveller on the Mumbai locals shared his story of being molested by a gay in the train. His statement was “ after that bad experience I really started respecting girls that even after being molested they tend to forget the bygones. This incident took place months ago but I still feel uneasy when I recall the experience. The situation was such that I couldn’t do much against the molestor….."

Guys, many such incidents might come to your mind after reading this article, either the ones you experienced or witnessed. Please give it a thought and try and act constructively whenever you come across such an incident….